Something to Consider
by dysprositos
Summary: Loki takes a stroll in New York and is confronted with the weird ways humans use Norse mythology.


A/N: I don't own the Avengers. I do own a cat named Loki, though.

Loki takes a stroll in New York and is confronted with the weird ways humans use Norse mythology.

* * *

He was walking down some unimportant street, doing his best to ignore the humans moving in throngs around him. He had more important things to do, and walking was slow, and all these people were in his way…maybe if he just blew a path through them, he could get back fast-

"Loki!"

He paused, startled.

"Loki, I swear if you don't stop this minute, I am going to snap your scrawny neck!"

He didn't know that voice. What audacity, to speak to him in such a manner. Who was brave enough—or stupid enough—to address him so? And "scrawny?" Certainly, he did not have Thor's physique, but "scrawny" was simply inaccurate. Additionally, it was rude.

He hated rudeness.

"Are you stupid? Get over here! Now!"

He turned around, thoroughly annoyed, and ready to blast this infuriating presence into oblivion—in a thoroughly polite way, of course. Quickly scanning the crowd, he saw no one posing any kind of threat. Confused, he inspected his surroundings more carefully, trying to find the source of that screeching voice. Ah, there. Perhaps? He saw a young woman, weaving through the crowded sidewalk towards him. She didn't seem like a particularly large threat, but she knew who he was, and that was unexpected. She could be one of Fury's SHIELD agents, perhaps, like that Romanoff woman. He raised his staff and took aim. But, damn—she dodged and he lost her and—

She slammed into him.

"Ow! Get out of my way, you fucking nutjob! What's your fucking problem!"

And then she was past him, jogging down the sidewalk. "Loki, this isn't funny! I'm sorry I had you neutered but it was for the best! Just come back, _please!_"

Neutered?

Intrigued, he began to follow her. She turned into an alley and slowed, taking time to look behind the garbage cans and under parked cars. At the end of the alley, she stopped and kneeled next to a particularly large and disgustingly full garbage can.

"Come on, buddy, let's go," she said to the garbage can. "You're filthy, poor guy," she added. Loki craned his neck, and saw that she wasn't actually speaking to the trash. Huddled behind the receptacle was a small animal, with four legs and a long tail. It was covered in black fur and had yellow eyes. Around its neck was a red band of some kind, and he watched as the human snagged the band and then lifted the animal under its front legs. She turned, but stopped when she saw him.

"Oh, you. Sorry about the 'fucking nutjob' thing, but I was trying to rescue this dumbass," she gestured at the animal in her arms, "before he got schmucked by a car or something. And that's a really…creative outfit you're wearing."

Loki was, at this point, reasonably sure that this woman was not a threat, but he had to be completely certain. He preferred to take no risks when it came to personal safety.

"What is that creature?" he asked, pointing at it. He withdrew his hand quickly as the animal lashed out with one of its paws, claws extended.

"Loki!" the human chided it. "That's so rude!"

Loki agreed.

"Um, 'this creature'," she said, "is a cat. You know, a cat? His name is Loki, and he's a shit head. But I keep him around anyway."

Loki was not sure what a shit head was, or a cat for that matter, but nodded anyway.

She continued, "My ex named him after a Norse god, or something, I guess." Loki choked on indignation. "Personally," she said, "I would have gone with 'Bill' or 'Satan,' but it is what it is, I guess. He left, and I'm stuck with the cat. Who is pissed at me because I had him neutered."

That was a word Loki knew. "You had…Loki…neutered?" he queried.

"Um, yeah. Territorial marking." Loki knew what that was, too, but she went on, "He was pissing on everything, and it had to stop. I have standards." She adjusted her grip so that she was holding the cat more securely. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you or whatever, but I have to go before shit head here gets loose again."

She exited back to the busy New York street and was gone.

Loki remained standing in the alley, pondering this place, where "Loki" was neutered for excessive urination.

Did he really want to rule this realm?


End file.
